Ask a Geologist

s

Dear Ms. Mess,

Help! My neighbor keeps arranging leafs, twigs, and other yard debris in mysterious patterns at the end of my driveway. My husband says it's "just runoff from rainstorms" but I know better. I think these patterns have (I'm almost afraid to write it) magical implications. I'm sure my hair has felt thinnr since I've noticed them, and this morning, my cat was looking at me funny.... I don't know WHAT's going to happen next!

What can I do?

Sign me,
Fearful Fran in Fresno

Holy crap Fran! This is great news!! Go eat an apple. Does it taste extra appley to you? Like a super apple? I bet it does. That only means one thing. You need to embrace these magical yard debris because they are LUCKY magical yard debris. Your neighbor must really like you to put so much effort into this. Your cat was looking at you funny because a) cats sense magic because of their link to witches and b) your hair has NEVER looked better. Seriously. It’s awesome.

And seriously, Fran, no one knows what is going to happen next, but most of it is going to be amazing. So don’t worry about this and just do your thang girl. And if you see your neighbor just give a wink to let them know that YOU know what is up and you appreciate it.