Ask a Geologist: A case of the Mondays from Costco

Dear Geologist:
Sometimes I really dislike people at work. I can't quit but I also can't stand to be in the same room with them. I'm afraid I will say something I regret. (This happens frequently.) What should I do?
Sincerely,
Work-it Gurl

Even if you quit your job and got a new job you would still have this problem it would just be newer, differenter people to dislike. I think a lot of people have this problem. I love most of my co-workers but there are a select few who really rub me the wrong way.

In my office I have a quote that really inspires me from time to time.

"If I repent of anything, it is very likely to be my good behavior. What demon possessed me that I behaved so well?"- Thoreau

I feel like this is so true because many situations could be improved by speaking up and letting the other person know that they are doing something that you don't like. Being at work makes this tricky because there is a strict ranking, you could get fired and if you alienate someone you could potentially be with them in close quarters for a long time. Sometimes that's worse than sucking it up.

I have found, that for my own sanity, I need to sit down and figure out why I don't like the person. Are they incompetent? Lazy? Mean? Annoying? Once I've decided what the problem is I come up with some politic ways to deal with that person so that I can keep doing my job well. I have found that in cases where someone is bugging me because they don't do their job well the best thing I can do is to gently guide them in a direction that corrects this flaw. It at least helps me sleep better at night. When people are being annoying or rude to excess I point out how they are behaving. "Several people were uncomfortable when you told that dirty joke at the staff meeting, Tim." or "Please don't speak to me in that tone."

The important part is to make sure you stay calm, think through your reaction and be honest with the people you are with.

If the above route fails or sounds too ambitious for you I have other suggestions.

1) Listen to more music like this on your commute:


or



or



Extra points if you keep one ear bud in all day so you have a soundtrack.

2) Take martial arts or boxing lessons so you can punch things.

3) Start acting crazy. This has two benefits. It's an excellent way to be creative at work and a lot of fun. Also, people tend to avoid lunatics and this will make your work more peaceful. If you can convince folks that you could snap and go apeshit at any moment it will work even better. At past jobs (retail) I've had people who I interacted with strictly for my own entertainment.


4) Pretend you're in an episode The Office or Parks and Recreation. When someone says something too you that makes you frustrated look directly at the "camera" and raise an eyebrow. This will also help with #3.