Ask a Geologist: How to Make Girls Crazy

How do I get girls to like me?

No, Dear Geologist? No details? No specifics about what kind of girls or why you'd like them to like you? Or whether you wear sweatpants and smell bad? (---This is an easy fix. Don't do these things.) Plus, I'm going to guess that you don't want "girls" to like you. You want "girl" to like you. Just one specific girl not a whole herd.

Well, you're off to a good start because this question is really frustrating to me. I would recommend giving a girl your number, asking her to text you and then not replying for at least three days. Then respond with something cryptic that is preferably one word. Some something like this:

Her: Are you going to Jason's party on Tuesday?
Him: (On Thursday) The new Dark Knight trailer looks cool.

or alternatively

Her: I had fun at the movie!
Him: OK

Girls love this. It has been my experience that they cannot get enough of it.

Seriously though...don't be that guy. The method describes above makes us crazy but not in that good way. It does not make us crazy for you.*

The best way of getting a girl to like you is to show her an aspect of yourself that she has not previously seen. They do this in the movies all the time but it works great in real life. Showcase your hidden talents.

If she thinks you're shy pop up somewhere with your guitar and sing something.
If she thinks you're snobby let her see you volunteering somewhere with little kids and making a ruckus.
If she thinks you're a jerk show her your softer side.
If she thinks you're a nerd invite her to your pickup basketball game where you're the star.

Just don't fake any of those things. Be yourself and be confident. Because you're fantastic, and a great catch and if she can't see that she doesn't deserve you. Sometimes nice guys think that girls like dbags and that nice guys don't have a chance. This is false. Women like guys with confidence. (Unfortunately, most jerks have a lot of confidence so it gets confusing.) So be the nice guy but take some credit for it. It's one thing to make fun of yourself and be self deprecating and humble but don't go overboard to the point where she feels like she has to be a cheerleader for you.

Be honest with the the girl you like about why you like her. Give her compliments. You don't have to say anything that reveals your feelings. Just say something like, "I really like your Fraggle Rock t-shirt."

Be a good conversationalist. Be an active listener. Make sure you're not dominating the conversation and ask questions about what she's saying. Go out of your way to remember things that she tells you. This is like the #1 Lady Killer of all time. I can't tell you how many times I've talked to one of my friends who is shocked, just flabbergasted, because some guy she likes has just remembered some nugget of information she dropped on him a week ago. She'll be all, "HE ASKED ME HOW I DID ON MY TEST!!!?!!! I told him about that test like, three days AGO." or "He told me he hopes that Button's surgery goes ok!!!!1!" Or play a Weezer cd in your car because she mentioned she loves Weezer. We can't even handle it. This is truly a trait that separates the men from the boys.

You'll notice I haven't given you advice about your looks. We don't really care about that as much as you think we do. Sure, we want you to be clean but women have a pretty broad range of what we're looking for appearance wise in a guy. Have you ever seen Beauty and the Beast? (You just earned a point for singing a little bit of, "Be Our Guest.") Or have you ever seen a hot girl with a C- looking guy and wondered, "How did he do that?" We're looking more at the whole package and less at your....ahem...package. There are always exceptions, though. Some girls really are so shallow that they are just looking for an Abercrombie model with no substance. See also: You're fantastic and too good for her.

Good luck!

*Seriously dudes. What is it with the word "crazy." Every guy I've ever met has described their (not currently in the room) girlfriend as crazy. Then when I meet her she's normal. What kind of cop out is that? Also all ex-girlfriends didn't work out because they are crazy. I think what you mean is that these women are crazy for talking to you in the first place. Is that what you meant?