The Time I Went to an Indian Wedding

In 2002 my friend Pritesh invited me to his wedding. This was unexpected because well, we weren't very close and it ended up being a very memorable experience.

To start out with there were about 400 guests...the bride invited 500 and the groom invited....10. Ten people from our graduate program, me, my friend Erika, Dr. H and his family, Azzad and his family and Steve plus some others we didn't know were considered part of the family. If we had wanted to we could have been marched in and sat at the front on stage with the brides family. Pritesh was so thrilled that we came (since we're his family) and he kept thanking us and we were in the professional photos. Somewhere there is a wedding album with me (confusingly) in it.

It was very different from an American wedding. The people we were with were a different type of Indian so they were as lost as we were for most of it. So imagine, we're in the American Legion hall with 400 other people. I am the only redhead there and Erika the only black girl...we got some looks believe me. All the women looked gorgeous. We were very jealous. I wish there was an American ceremonial dress. The children were beautiful. The wedding started an hour late.

I use the word started loosely. Another different thing is even when the wedding got going, no one felt the need to simmer down, be quiet or stop milling around. In fact only us in the "wrong religion" section were paying rapt attention. It was very strange. There was also some confusion on who the bride was. A bunch of people in the wedding party had on outfits with swastikas on them. We asked Dr. Hasan what that meant thinking it might mean something dilute that was developed before the Nazis but no....he said it meant Aryan! It's because a sect of them went off to India before the whole Nazi thing really got into full swing. Huh?

Pritesh came out with a swarm of women flanking him in a fantastic white outfit and holding a bouquet of flowers. Someone started chanting prayers and when that was concluded the flower girls, wedding party and bride were brought out. That makes it sound very American but it wasn't...except for the flower girls it was very different. Meanwhile, Indian techno music of a romantic nature is playing. Then all the important people go on stage. The brides side and the grooms side are separated by a sheet and they throw rice at each other. Other things are going on too but we don't know what they are. Finally there is a yell and a clap and the sheet come down and they are married. After that everyone REALLY ceases to pay attention while the bride and groom go through series of ceremonies.

There was a brief intermission while the food was set up and then the women, children and old men were allowed in for the meal. (The other men ate in two shifts later.) The food was good? It was certainly different. It came on a big plate with rounded sections. It was all vegetarian and most of it was spicy. There were rice bits with curry, hot cucumbers, weird chips, a big circle shaped cracker, a ball of what seemed to be sugar cookie dough, and a cup if what seemed to be Jello Pudding Cheesecake. People get coming by with big silver buckets full of more stuff. After we'd been eating for a while someone dropped off a plastic container with seeds in it and a piece of candy. I asked Dr. H's daughter, is this to throw at them? She said it was to eat. Huh. Then everyone got up at once and left. Erika and I were like, "Ummmm?" There'd been no announcement but it was time for the next group to be fed. Then we sat with a group in Indian woman and children all eating MacDonalds giant sized french fries and watched the rest of the wedding. (Do they know they have beef tallow in them?) At some point Erika and I got roped into going on stage to give Pritesh his present. Nothing like a short white girl and an even shorter black girl to spice things up. People giggeled openly at us.

Interesting facts about the wedding:

1. It was arranged which everyone viewed as a very very lucky thing.

2. The bride's family will typically steal the grooms shoes and try to sell them back to him for an incredible amount of money. The groom's side of the family is responsible for guarding the shoes. The brides sister just took his shoes directly off of Pritesh's feet.

3. Almost everyone brings a check as a gift.

4. Women and children got a red velvet bag filled with nuts, fruit and chocolate.

5. The entire wedding is planned and put together in 7- 10 days. In addition to planning an entire wedding there are also many formal parties during that time. The family of the couple does everything and the bride and groom relax.

6. Although some formal wear must be made by hand, formal wear for weddings can be bought. The women used to wear bright bright red but since the outfits are very expensive and they try to wear them again the younger generation is opting for a less vibrant color. However, the fabric must be metallic.

7. During the day we noticed everyone loading down the bride with a tremendous amount of jewelery including very large, very real diamond necklaces. This is because these are the last gifts she is allowed to get. From now on no birthday presents, no inheritance, nada.

8. The bride and groom don't smile. This is the first time they will leave home.

9. The minimum amount of people at the wedding is typically 500 guests. This is because you invite all family, all friends, all people at place of worship and the entire company at everyone's job.

All in all it was very strange but very nice. It can me some perspective though when Mrs. H started asking us about our weddings and was very amazed at what we had to tell her.