Vacation: All I Ever Wanted

Once upon a time, a few years ago, I decided to surprise my husband and planned a trip to a Christmas Tree Farm where we were going to stay in an adorable restored blacksmiths shop. It was a romantic one bedroom shack on the property. We'd been watching a lot of Frontier House on Netflix and I knew he'd be excited to stay in such a unique setting. The farm was nestled in the NC mountains and we'd be close to a lot of cool places to hike. Isn't it cute?
This vacation was one of our top 3 worst vacations of all time. We ended up driving home in the middle of the night the second night there. Why? Was it because of the creepy landlord and the lack of window coverings? Nope. Was it because the bathroom had multiple black widow webs? Nu uh. Was it because we'd forgotten the second page of the directions? Not that either, although all of these things were true. In short, it was because of the toilet. Did we have to go in a hole in the ground? No. We should be so lucky. This blacksmiths cabin had an indoor bathroom with a yacht toilet. An incinerator toilet....which means you do your bidness in a wax liner, "flush" the liner in a containment chamber and then it is burned. Which I guess is cool on a boat because a boat is moving away from the smell, it is decidedly less cool in a stationary house....with open windows...and no air conditioning. Do you know what your pee smells like when it's on fire? Cause I do. Yeah. The first day we were there we drove up, relieved ourselves and went to dinner. When we came back a few hours later it smelled a little funky but not too bad. When we went to bed we couldn't sleep because of the smell of burning well...everything. The worst part? When we decided to pack it in and go home the next day we got in the car and realized that the smell was clinging to us. And you know what? This isn't the worst vacation I've ever had.


I don't need a lot from a vacation. I don't need to go on a fancy cruise, stay in a resort or spend a lot of money on entertainment. Through my various travels I have decided that I need two things to be happy on vacation.

1. A flush toilet. Like with WATER in it....or at least a REALLY deep hole.

2. A body of water to stare at.

It doesn't matter if that body of water is a pool....
An ocean.....

A river.....
A pond....
Or a lake.....
What are your requirements for a good vacation?

And now....before we go on vacation I either ask about the nature of the toilet or make sure I see a picture. Sure, I get some raised eyebrows but I've learned my lesson the hard way.